So I picked my kids up Friday night. We were on our way out to my brothers' to spend the night and then we were going out to the lake to go camping. First we made a stop at a friends house to say goodbye before they move down to Houston, our kids play like maniacs and we get to our family's house, take baths, and crash.
I have all my kids sleeping with me in my nephews bed. My kids are all snugglers and I get as much of it from each of them while they are with me. I litterally have Taylor in one arm, Kaydie in the other arm, and Jacob lying on my stomach with his arms wrapped around me. I wake up early and Jake and Kayder Bug are already awake. Kaydie see's me open my eyes and jumps out of the bed and heads to the door in her jammies, my little J Man is right on her heels saying "let's go"! Taylor is a bit slower to move in the morning but pretty soon she is up and moving in anticipation with the other two who can barely contain themselves..... They are all excited and so am I.
I have never taken them camping. I could fill up a book with all the things I never did with them. This is a special time. I want it to be awesome. I want them to talk about how awesome a time this was for the rest of their lives. I want to be the best dad in the world. I want them to love being with me more than anything. ... Are you getting where I am going with this?
We make the bed, get dressed, and sneak out the door without waking anyone. We get to Wal Mart and I am careful not to forget anything. I have a list. I need everything to be perfect. I let them pick out a reasonable amount of junk food, floaties, I make sure to get sunscreen..... I am on top of it. We are already having fun. My kids are awesome and I love every moment with them. At some point Taylor mentions that we haven't had breakfast at which time of course everyone says they are hungry. I step it up to high gear and my plan is to get to the campsite about 20 minutes away and eat, set up camp, and hit the lake..... That was my plan.
As we get to the register I notice Jake is looking a little flush and his eyes are a little glossy. I feel his cheeks, his forehead, and his little hands.... He's hot. For a moment I really missed my wife. She was always a rock, always unflappable. One time we were all taking a walk and Kaydie fell right on her face and busted her head open and started bleeding everywhere. My first reaction was to just run away. I can't stand my kids being hurt, or sad.. It scares me. My wife gently held her, made her laugh about getting blood all over her and ruining her shirt, and made the mad dash to the emergency room a calm adventure. This was not that serious. He is acting normal, not like he is sick. I can handle this.
We make a detour back to the pharmacy section.. He had some bad ant bites from the night before and I thought that might be the issue.... I look for benadryl, can't really find what I am looking for and thought about asking a pharmacist but there was a line longer than the grand opening of In/Out Burger and I have three hungry kids. I decide on Motrin and head back to the register. We check out and hit the front door and it's already 90' plus outside. We get to the car and it's like 150' in there. "Daddy I'm hungry". I am still maintaining. "We're on our way guys, is everybody excited"? followed by "YEAH"! All in unison from the back seat. We hit the road, the car cools off, the praise music is on, and my kids are signing and laughing. I am doing good, and there are no issues that are too much for me... Well, not yet.
For maybe the 5th time in my life I have directions. Well that is not right. What I meant to say is for the 5th time in my life I am following directions. I know where I am going and how to get there. I had called the day before even and spoke to the Corps of Engineers to verify the types of campgrounds (I am all over the sand beach area campground), how much they cost, and what they expect for availability. I am on it. "Look at the lake guys"! Everyone's rubber necking out the window as we cross over the bridge almost to our destination. "Can we go swimming daddy"?
I pull up to the gate near a gravel area beach with itty bitty sand and big weed patches all throughout. "Where is the sand beach?" The guy gives me a look that tells me that is the sand beach. In simple country twang "Well your looking at it". I accept this as something he cannot change and move on. "I would like to take a camp area for the night". He gives me the same stupid look. "I bet, but we are all full", and I can't decide what I enjoyed more, the smart mouth response or the grin of satisfaction on his face. I immediately start assessing just how much trouble I would get in for grabbing him by the throat and holding firm as I toured the camp area just to verify he was correct. "Daddy are we not gonna get to go camping"?
I am silent for just a moment and calmly respond "Sir, I called yesterday and was told that there were plenty of camp sites, should I have reserved one in advance"? I think he expected a more aggressive response and started being a little more helpful. "There are some camp sites across the highway, it's just a more wooded area, still on the lake though." I nod and drive off.
Understand I am a baby. Especially when I put this much thought and planning into something I expect "all the players and props" to fall in line and do what they are supposed to. If I am unhappy I have no problem making sure that your day sucks too until I get what I want, and you spit in my cereal, I will make it rain all over your entire life. I want my way. When I don't get it, I don't care how big a boy you are... I am a right handful.
I get across the highway and to the camp site gate. They only have a few sites left and none near a working bathroom. I go through the process of asking my other qualifying questions to nothing but utter disappointment. "Is there another lake near here." This lady could tell I was heated. "No". Thank God. If it's not going to be what I anticipated then I am just impulsive enough to really ruin our day by venturing off into the totally unknown. So I am glad that door closed quickly. "Daddy when are we going to eat?"
I ask if we can go down and look first. "Yes," in a "please just go away" tone. I drive down and we find the least terrible spot. Yes it is on the lake. Well it is on a fifteen foot drop to the water. Fine. We will eat, change into bathing suits, set up, go back to the gate and pay for the site and head back to the beach and get our day started. We get unloaded, eat, change, and at that point I realize I don't have my wallet. After a moment of ferocious aggravation I realize I had set it down at the register and had left it at the Wal Mart, twenty minutes away. "Daddy can we go swimming now?" I can't believe how badly this is going. "Guys daddy is sorry, but I need to go back to the store. I left my wallet there." They start squirming. They can see I am frustrated. "We want to go swimming." Just then one of the gate attendants pulls up. I didn't think it would be a big deal to unpack eat and pay on our way to the beach. Now without my wallet, it's a big deal. I tell the guy I am just setting up and then we are headed to the beach... He gives me a look like I am trying to run some scam on him and I give him a look like I am 6'3" and 200 pounds of fighting fury and if you don't roll your window back up and drive away then your day is going to end very badly. He makes a good decision.
I load the kids in the car and drive to the gate, explain what happened and head all the way back to town. It's hot, my kids are starting to whine and ask the same questions over and over again, and my steering wheel is shaking all over... Low tire, alignment who knows? I get to Wal-Mart, I park right at the door, run inside and the lady sees me and says "you're wallet is at customer service." I got to the customer service and cut right in front of everybody and the lady tells me noone has brought her a wallet. The customer service manager says she will go and find out where it is. I go out the front door as this was not going to be quick and decide to park and when I got outside I saw that my rear tire was flat.
Have you ever seen "The Incredibles?" You know the part where Mr. Incredible just lost his job, pulls into his driveway, gets out of his car, slips on a skateboard and catches himself on the car door which is now deformed because of his super human strength, when he sees the door now won't close he slams it shatters the window and absolutely loses his mind? That should be a pretty clear picture. Moving on.
I literally think tears started welling up in my eyes, but at the same time I start laughing from complete deranged insanity when Kaydie sticks her head out the window with her little Kayder Bug smile "Can we go swimming now?" I pull around to the service center and the guy says it's going to be an hour at least and of course its going to cost almost $90.00. HAHAHA! Why not?!?!?! I am about to pull the kids out of the car. I am way passed aggravated and even mad. I am pissed off. My kids go silent. They can sense it. I click the seat control to lean it forward right when Kaydie lands in front of it... It knocks her forward.
Everyone stops...
This is one of those moments. The moments where I generally lose it. The moments that cost me so much more than I ever wanted to pay. She is not hurt but she is looking to get some confirmation that she is safe, they all are. I grin at her, she grins back. I giggle and they all start giggling with me. I pick her up. "I'm sorry honey, daddy wasn't being very careful are you okay?" I could feel any tension in her just vanish. I gathered my kids around me and we joined hands and I did something I generally do not do at a moment like this. I prayed. After I told them "Guys I am sorry things aren't going the way I said they would, but we are on a really big adventure and I want you guys to pay attention. Anything can happen."
"God what is the deal here? I am obedient. I am following. What the heck am I supposed to be seeing right now? WHY ARE YOU TESTING ME?"
"Daddy it's okay. Look they have alot of tires!" I am cooling way off now. I am listening. I am watching and I am learning from from these kids that there really are no big deals. What in the world is worth ruining your day over? How many days have I ruined? How many other people's days have I barged into and destroyed because I expect, I demand, and I do not compromise?
I find the customer service manager who says "sir I am so sorry, I am trying to locate your wallet." I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "You know what? It's really okay. We are not in any hurry." Just then her phone rings. It was in the drawer right in front of the girl that originally said she didn't have any wallets and she has been the only there all morning. Go figure. We go back into the toy section, pull out four of those foam mini couches with Disney characters all over them, we lay em out and read books and play. Later we made our way back to the waiting area in the auto center and each of us took turns counting to three where we would all pretend to be asleep, first one to break silence loses. Jake lost every time. Then he would run around pushing on each of us yelling "TIME TO WAKE UP!" We would all resist him until we busted out laughing.
God is in the smallest of details. As I was sitting there having the best time with my kids I realized something. My steering wheel shaking as we left the lake and the whole way back to the store....... If I hadn't forgotten my wallet earlier that morning at the store we probably would have gone to the lake and swam until dark at which time I would have found my tire flat, with no spare, and without any cell service in the middle of basically nowhere. Wow. I closed my eyes and sat with that and how close I came to missing that message ..
A couple minutes later the service tech comes in and waves me over. "Sir you told me you bought your tires at Wal Mart so I checked and you actually had road hazard protection on your tire there, so it's going to be $10.00." Man, that is why I live my life the way I do today. That is why I am obedient. That is favor.
We went back to the lake and swam until the sun was going down. We were wiped out. We grilled out and talked and after nothing went as I had planned it, it was exactly how it was supposed to be. And you know what...?
It was perfect.
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